I hope Santa Claus visits me tonight

Though I've been a fairly good but not so good boy this year, I still believe that Santa will visit me. And even though I don't really celebrate Christmas, I still believe that he will visit me and attempt to cast a Conversion spell on me. I can visualise it, Santa will say it before he casts the spell, "I'm sorry, sonny, but it's part of me and I can't help it." Then he will point his Barang-Barang choked full of presents at me, Hairy Potter style rather reluctantly-but-actually-he-wants-it, and shout, "Konver-mundo!" However, I still won't really celebrate Christmas.

I hope he comes through the window, because my flat doesn't have the chimney but only a machine called 'ELBA' that sucks the oil and smoke when I cook food. I also don't have a fireplace, except a altar that locates before Dua Peh Gong. I hope that he can come through the window, but he's Santa Claus so there shouldn't be any problem.

If he gives me a present, I will not accept it. Because CME told me not to accept gifts from strangers. Instead, I will demand him to make sure that my New Year Resolutions come true. These New Year Resolutions are being forwared to Guan Yin Ma weekly as well. But since I'm a Singaporean, no harm seeking for another miracle.

The New Year Resolutions are as follows :

Grow More Muscular
Grow Taller
Grow more Independent
24-hour protection for my family
24-hour protection for friends that are worthy of
Become more cleverer
Become more wiser
Become more handsum
Become more matured
Become more Elite
Get 5 points for every NAPFA station
Take better pictures
Watch better movies
Hear better music
Eat more Mee Pok
Eat more Pig Liver
Drink more Coffee
Drink more Green Tea (Don't know why Government hasn't banned this in view of the ageing population)
Travel the world
Take the Car Basic Theory
Get My Car License
Get the Taxi Vocational License (must wait till 30 years old first)
Get the Bus Driver License (Better be prepared)
Wear my Superman T-shirt and - Stop MRT track suicides, Eradicate MLM (Top Priority)
World Peace

The last bit is cliched but we all live in cliched world.

Merry Christmas to all and have a wonderful New Year.

Posted by TheLast |

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