Everytime I press the 'send' button on my handphone, I wonder if my thoughts/greetings/expressions are appreciated and really 'received'.
Am I bringing a smile to that person on the other end? Or do the person at the other end just brush it off and feels irritated?
We are at such an age where real-life communication is almost gone. Instead, virtual communication is preferred. SMS-es are a breeze to me, but when talking face-to-face, it becomes difficult.
I can't even remember the last time I talked to a friend on the phone.
Before Nokia's 3310, I could talk on the phone for countless hours. When I mean talk, I mean talking to anyone for hours.
All that is lost now. I always have that notion that if I call someone, s/he would feel that I'm annoying. Maybe it's only happening to me, but calling someone has become so unconventional. Sometimes it also happens on MSN. Hokkien call it 'ai mai ai mai'. (want don't want, want don't want)
A few years back. I called someone. I wanted to talk to that person but out of a sudden she said her blah blah blah wants to use the phone. It could be true but it's so damn obvious she doesn't want to talk. Her voice betrayed her.
The worst part about sending sms-es is that you can't help but have that feeling that perhaps that someone's possible dislike and annoyance for you increases with each meaningful sms. But yet you still continue to do so, hoping that you will get some appreciation.
It's like believing a lie. Because a lie is so much more easier to believe.
All this crap may sound like I lack confidence. But anyone will feel so damn demoralised if you had experienced this crap.
But I won't. I will continue to send send send. Because I always can't reach my 500 free SMS-es target for some reason. In the end, however, I have confidence in who I send SMS-es to. I'm sure they appreciate me.
If they don't, it's okay because it's my heart that counts.
Posted by TheLast | 
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